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Unfortunately, after things going smoothly on the family front for awhile, I'm afraid I have sad news. My father passed away tonight. He'd actually been doing rather well - he was limited in his activities after the three strokes, to be sure, but he'd been doing things like taking out the garbage and setting the table.

And then, tonight, he collapsed on the floor and was having trouble breathing. My mother called 911, they took him to the hospital and, en route, his breathing and heart stopped. They tried CPR, but to no avail.

When I got to the hospital, they were still doing CPR on him. I was in the room when they were using the paddles on him, and when they made the decision to stop. And then I stayed with my mother afterward, when she was still with him and refused to leave - and I don't think I'm going to forget her sobbing and pleading with him to come back for as long as I live. She kept holding onto his hand and insisting she saw his eyelids moving, that his hand was tightening. And all I could do was sit there like a block of ice.

Even after everything we went through, all those months of running to and from hospitals. I still can't believe it. It can't sink in. I still feel like a block of ice. (Which is why I can't seem to sleep).

Hopefully, I'll feel more human tomorrow. My brother and I have a lot to take care of.

Comments

ruruu
May. 5th, 2013 09:37 am (UTC)
I am so sorry to read this. I can not imagine what you are going through at the moment. So take your time, stay with the rest of your family. Your LJ Friends are waiting over here. I am sure your Dad knew how much you all loved and cared for him and I hope he is in peace.

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