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Title: Anatomy of a Twitastrophe
Chapter: Standalone
Author: Boots
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Smut, humor
Warning: Male/male sex, 69, dominance play
Pairing: Kai X Shou/Shou X Kai
Disclaimer: Boys belong to PS Company, I own the story only
Summary: Shou wants to upload his new Twitter picture at full-size. Unfortunately, nobody informed him of the dangers of using a computer where Kai had just been chatting with a bored Aoi . . .
Comments: Like I wasn’t going to get a fic out of PotterManipGate. ~_^ (In case you haven’t heard about it, here’s the short version: Shou tried to upload a full-size version of his new Twitter fic, uploaded a Draco/Harry photomanip instead, and all hell broke loose).


Shou was in a good mood as he unlocked the front door, slipping off his shoes and putting down his bag in the entranceway. His new Twitter picture was going to be gorgeous. He’d even put a streak of temporary violet dye in his hair.

“I’m home,” he called across the apartment. “Did you download the file I sent you?”

Kai looked up from his computer. “I did,” he said. “It’s gorgeous.”

“It’s the best one I’ve had in awhile,” Shou said. “I’m uploading it right now.” He pulled out his phone and sat on the couch, opening Twitter immediately.

Kai went back to what he was doing with a smile. He was glad to see Shou relaxed and happy. He knew his lover was on a hectic-as-hell schedule nowadays – three single releases in three months, with a publicity tour for each one, was a very big deal.

And on top of that, Shou had bandleader duties to deal with – something Kai was all too familiar with. In fact, it was what he was trying to do right now. He had one chat window and was talking to their manager, setting up plans for their upcoming tour – specifically, the international dates. Everything had to be firm and finalized before they unleashed the news on the public.

Unfortunately, there was a second chat window open on Kai’s screen. It wasn’t one that he’d invited – but when you had a half-drunk and talkative Aoi on your hands, he wouldn’t be ignored. You’d try to close his chat window, he’d message you about 30 times until you finally responded.

“Kazuki is over here,” Aoi reported. “We were both bored. He’s just come from a photoshoot.”

Okay, “Kazuki” “Aoi” and “bored” was a dangerous combination. Kai wondered if he should warn their manager that he might get trolled before the evening was over. Instead, he told Aoi, “Don’t get into trouble.”

“Trouble? Me?” Aoi said. “Nah, I can’t get into trouble. I’m just sitting here looking up stuff on the Internet.”

Probably porn, Kai thought, and turned his attention back to their manager. There were a few more messages sent over from Aoi, but he ignored them for now. All you needed to do was throw back a line every few minutes to satisfy Aoi that you were paying attention to him.

Meanwhile, on the couch, Shou had succeeded in uploading the icon, and he admired how it looked. Yes, definitely the best one he’d had in awhile. He was going to have to remember to compliment the stylists, because they outdid themselves this time.

There was just one problem, though. The picture was too small. Oh, it was the right size for a Twitter icon, all right . . . but it looked so much better full-size.

I wonder, Shou thought, whether I should post it at large size, in an entry . . .

Across the room, Kai was still talking to the manager – when he saw a download request from Aoi out of the corner of his eye. Must be one of Kazuki’s new pictures. Okay, he’d download it, take a look, compliment the look and then go back to what he was doing. He clicked the download button . . .

The picture popped open automatically once it was done. It wasn’t Kazuki. It was some sort of photomanip done by Harry Potter fangirls . . . with the heads of the actors who’d played Draco and Harry grafted onto the bodies of two gay porn stars, embracing naked in bed. To make matters worse, it bore a caption saying, “A time of wisdom after drilling Harry” – which, translated into more colloquial language, basically meant, “That awkward moment after boinking Potter.”

Kai nearly fell off his chair. “Aoi!” he typed. “What the hell?”

“Told you we were surfing weird shit,” Aoi replied. “Want to see more?”

“No!” Kai replied.

“Too bad this isn’t a video chat,” Aoi typed. “I’d love to see your face right now.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my face!” Kai typed. Okay, so his face was turning crimson right now, shading to purple. No way in hell was he giving Aoi the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Kai-kun?” their manager typed. “Are you still there?”

Oh, hell. “Yes,” Kai typed. “Sorry, someone at the door for a moment.”

“Well, I was just asking if we can wrap it up for tonight,” the manager said. “Pick it up tomorrow, before your meeting with the band?”

“Oh, sure,” Kai replied. “Have a pleasant evening, I’ll talk to you then.”

Just as the manager signed off, Shou said, “Kai? When you’re done with what you’re doing, can I borrow your computer for a couple? My battery is dying, and there’s something else I want to put on Twitter.”

“Of course,” Kai called. “I’m just wrapping up now.” And this would give him an excuse to lose Aoi-Troll. He quickly typed to his bandmate, “Need to get off chat, Shou needs to use my computer. Talk to you tomorrow.”

Without waiting for a reply from Aoi, he shut the chat program down. “Okay, love,” he told Shou. “It’s all yours.”

“Is my new picture on your machine?” Shou said.

Kai nodded. “In the downloads folder.”

What Kai hadn’t noticed was that the Shou Twitter picture was called newpic.jpg, and the photomanip that Aoi-Troll had sent him was called new-pic.jpg.

* * *

Shou had his own computer, true – but he didn’t feel like booting it up, or getting his iPad out of the bedroom, when Kai had a turned-on and ready-to-go Mac right there.

He opened the web interface for Twitter, signed in, and started a new post. He wouldn’t take long – he figured Kai would want his machine back. He quickly typed “My favorite photos always get cut for icon size, so since I do not reveal them, should I finally post it?” He clicked the upload button, searched around in the downloads folder for the file name he remembered, and hit save.

The picture uploaded, Shou saw what he’d done, and panic struck.

What the HELL was this? Where had Kai gotten it? Good Lord, he didn’t even think Kai was a fan of the Harry Potter books, let alone having something like . . .

No time to think. Repair the damage, fast. He quickly opened another window – not even considering the delete option in his blind panic – and typed “Not this,” then went looking again – oh, hell, he should have seen the similar file names. He quickly uploaded the correct photo . . .

Too late. He was already getting retweets, and replies. CRAP.

Responses from his friends Gou and Dasuko popped up almost immediately. “Wow.” “This is . . .”

Shou responded to them quickly. “Stop retweeting and stuff!” Oh, God, look at the number of retweets already. The thing was out there – even if he deleted his original post, the copies would survive.

More responses. Gou: “I think it’s because of the illusory sweets from Mushroom Village” – referring to a store in Osaka. Dasoku just answered that with “Um, yeah”

And more retweets. More still.

“FUCK!” Shou said out loud.

That made Kai jump off the couch, where he’d been checking his E-mail on his phone. What the hell? Shou NEVER said that word. EVER. Okay, maybe in a really intense heat of passion, but no other time.

If Shou said “fuck,” that meant the apocalypse was upon them. Coupled with their management finally scheduling dates for them out of Japan? Oh, yeah, the planet was doomed. Kai cast a nervous glance toward the window, half-expecting to see flying pigs, fountains of lava shooting out from sewers, fat ladies perched on every building singing their heads off . . .

“Shou?” He went over to the other man. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Shou just pointed to the screen, wordlessly.

Kai blinked at it – and saw the picture that Aoi-Troll had sent him before, sitting right on a post on Shou’s Twitter. FUCK, indeed.

“Oh . . . my . . . God . . .” He looked at Shou. “Can’t you just delete it?”

Shou wordlessly pointed to the number of retweets. Yep, deleting it now would be locking the barn door after the Photoshopped horse had been stolen.

“Is . . . is that yours, Kai?” Shou said. “I mean, are you . . .”

Kai looked confused for a moment, and then the meaning hit him. He found himself laughing, though he really knew he shouldn’t. “No, no, that’s not mine,” he said. “I’m not a Harry/Draco shipper. Besides, I’m lousy at Photoshop.”

“Then how did it get in your machine?

“Aoi sent that to me when I was on chat with him. He was . . .” He paused, sighing. “Bored.”

“Bored?” Shou said. “Aoi? Oh, boy.”

“He and Kazuki were ‘surfing weird shit,’” Kai said. “That’s probably progressed to going on Tanuki and posting all kinds of outrageous stories about each other by now.”

Shou sighed, putting his elbows on the table and his head on his hands. “At least I know where it came from,” he said.

“Hey,” Kai said, putting a hand on his lover’s shoulder. “You’re really down about this, aren’t you?”

“It’s just embarrassing,” Shou said. “I try so hard to present a good image on Twitter. I try not to say anything that would embarrass the band. And the, this . . .”

“Shou, tweets aren’t going to ruin a band,” Kai said. “If they did, Aoi would have put us out of business a long time ago.”

“I know,” Shou said. “It’s just not . . .”

And that would be Shou’s text message ringtone going off, wouldn’t it? Several times. He sighed, and went over to where his phone was plugged in.

The first one was from Saga: “Shou, is Kai putting funky club drugs in that food he cooks for you?” Well, damn, he should have expected that one. Which would mean the second message was from . . . yep, it was from Ruki.

“Did somebody hack your Twitter?” Ruki wrote. “I can’t imagine you posting anything that fucked-up on purpose.”

Shou dropped the phone again with a clatter and put his hands to his temples. “I think I’m about to have a headache,” he said. “A big one.” Did they make bottles of Tylenol as big as Tokyo Tower, give or take a few feet of antenna?

Kai came over, wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist, and kissed Shou’s neck. “In a few days, people will either have forgotten about it or will think it’s hilarious.”

“And in the meantime,” Shou said, “I’m going to throw my phone in a drawer.” Or under a bus. Or off the aforementioned Tokyo Tower. “Do me a favor,” he told Kai. “Block the next image Aoi tries to send you.”

Kai nodded. “And that goes double if he’s bored,” he said. He pulled his lover closer, and said, “Want me to make you feel better?”

“You’d better move now, before the headache sets in,” Shou replied.

Kai didn’t waste any time. He pulled away just long enough so he could come around to the front of Shou, and then wrapped his arms around him, pressing their mouths together.

Shou suddenly took control, tongue pushing into Kai’s mouth, hands tugging at his clothes. When Kai felt a little nip, he gasped, sagging against his lover a little.

But not for long, because Kai very quickly gave back as good as he got, threading his fingers into Shou’s hair and lightly tugging as their tongues tangled with each other, retreated, then tangled again. It was quite obvious that both of them were leaders, and neither one was going to give any ground.

They weren’t quite sure which of them began dragging them both to the floor, but they tumbled together, hands reaching for each other’s clothing, unfastening zippers and buttons so fast that it seemed their fingers were going to knot together.

“God, baby . . .” Kai gasped when Shou nipped at a spot just under his jaw that was a personal hot zone for him, then started pushing his shirt away. Kai made it easy, rolling away so he could get rid of not only his shirt, but his pants and underwear as well.

Shou, deciding he should even the score, stripped his own clothes off, then kissed Kai hard again, rolling him over on his back. Grabbing the other man’s hands, he yanked his arms over his head, pinning his wrists in place.

He leaned over and bit Kai’s neck, running his tongue over the teeth marks, his breath hot on the other man’s skin. Kai squirmed under him, feeling paralyzed, helpless, at Shou’s mercy . . .

And holy hell, was it making his cock hard.

“You realize you’re all mine, don’t you?” Shou said, hotly, before lowering his head to a nipple, still holding Kai’s arms in place. He licked at the bud, then nipped it, making Kai arch forward and cry out.

The hot mouth closed on his nipple, sucking hotly, and the hands tightened on Kai’s wrists, squeezing just enough to cause a little pain, to exert his dominance. And Kai just went limp below him, submitting entirely, letting his lover do whatever he wanted, becoming a toy in his hands . . .

Shou licked very slowly around the nipple, teasing his lover, promising more pleasure and not quite delivering it – before nipping again, the shock of sensation making Kai cry out again.

“You love this,” Shou murmured, and Kai did, oh, he did, the helplessness, the mix of pleasure and pain . . .

But that didn’t mean that turnabout wasn’t fair play. And when Shou’s grip on him slackened a little, Kai saw his opportunity. He pulled his hands away from Shou, grasped his lover by the shoulders and rolled them both over, so that he was on top. He grabbed Shou’s hands and pulled them over his head, bending over to nip at the other man’s earlobe.

“Now,” Kai said, “who belongs entirely to who, here?” He licked a wet trail down Shou’s neck, and heard the other man let out a long, delicious moan. He moved on to his lover’s collarbone, tracing its shape with his tongue, nibbling.

“Kai,” Shou sighed, indicating he loved the role switch as much as Kai did, loved the battle for dominance between them.

Deciding Shou needed to be paid back fully for what he did before, Kai worked his way down to the vocalist’s nipple, stroking it with his tongue, pausing, then stroking it again. He wrapped his lips around it and sucked, licking it just a tiny bit, enough to make his lover moan again.

Then, he nipped at it, causing the other man to arch forward, crying out.

“Mmmm, yes, all of you belongs to me,” Kai murmured. “This, too.” He moved his head lower, nibbling the flat, taut belly, rubbing his tongue back and forth. “And . . .” he said. “Don’t forget this.”

He let go of Shou’s hands, and before the other man had a chance to flip him over again, he slid down rapidly, taking the tip of his lover’s erection in his mouth.

Shou had such a lovely cock. It was pretty damn big, and shaped perfectly for oral loving – the finely tapering tip slid between lips eager to take him in, and Kai caressed the hot, silken flesh with his tongue, its texture and taste the very essence of sex.

He sucked on it as if it were the sweetest of fruits, worshipped it like a holy artifact. He moved down on it, feeling it glide through lips and over tongue, taking it in deep, then pulling back, almost all the way out, then pushing down again.

And while he did this, Kai just happened to bring his legs, his hips into the perfect position for the favor to be returned. His cock was presented to Shou as an open invitation.

It was one Shou took, raising his head, tongue coming out to lick at that huge, beautiful thing, to trace its intricacies, run around the base of the head, which made the other man moan, then following the path of a vein along the shaft.

And then, Shou opened his lips, and took in as much of Kai as his position would allow, as Kai began to suck Shou faster, moving down far as he could, the soft wetness of his mouth encasing and caressing hardness.

Kai knew he was going to have to put a video camera on himself sometime when he did this. He would dearly like to see what he looked like while so totally lost in Shou, experiencing him on all levels – feeling, taste, smell. He’d like to watch that beautiful cock sliding in and out of his own mouth, disappearing, only to appear again, glistening and throbbing and totally sensual.

He could feel the hot mouth on him, sucking on him as if to devour, tongue caressing him with tenderness, causing his whole body to tremble and burn. Shou knew just what spots to stroke, what was going to make Kai feel like sparks were running through him.

And oh, that tongue was finding those spots now, coiling and striking like a serpent, rubbing along the base of the head, then pulling away, then rubbing again. It made Kai let out a long, deep moan in his throat, sending vibrations through Shou’s cock . . . which made Shou moan in return, returning the pleasure Kai had just given him.

They writhed as they sucked at each other, noses breathing in the scent of sweat and sex, just making their hearts beat harder, the heat of pleasure grow and grow in their bellies, hurtling toward a final explosion . . .

A flick of Shou’s tongue in the right place, and Kai was the first to hurtle over the edge, thrusting his hips up harder, filling Shou’s mouth more, pouring his come down his throat. He stopped sucking when the orgasm was happening, lifting his head so he could cry out in passion, riding the waves of pleasure until they finally faded.

The orgasm just redoubled Kai’s desire to bring his lover to the same ecstasy, and he shifted position so that he could take him in even deeper, feeling that lovely cock in his throat, devouring his lover, feeling like he was going to swallow him whole. He purred, moving his head faster, fucking his mouth on the hardness, hearing Shou’s moans get louder, faster, more intense.

He flicked his tongue, the way Shou did for him, and Shou cried out, then cried out louder. Kai pulled his head back, feeling come pouring onto his face, his tongue coming out to catch droplets.

He moved back up to kiss Shou, and Shou lifted his head, licking his own come off his lover’s face – so delicious and naughty, the perfect ending to their act.

Their lips met, and they snuggled together, Kai with his face buried between Shou’s neck and shoulder. They both sighed deeply, slowly coming back to reality, Shou’s fingers tenderly stroking Kai’s hair.

Gradually, they became aware of the sound of Shou’s phone going off with more messages – an almost steady pinging, in fact.

Kai stirred, but didn’t lift his head. “Are you going to . . .” he said.

“No,” Shou said. “Let it ring.” He’d deal with the repercussions of the mistake tomorrow. He was probably going to get teased to high heaven about this for the rest of his life. (Just as long as nobody – read, Saga – said anything on Alice Nine Channel . . .)

“Good,” Kai said, turning his head to kiss Shou. “Feel better?”

Shou nodded. “Let’s just go in the bedroom, okay?”

This meant moving, which wasn’t something that Kai thought he’d be able to do very easily at the moment. That would require bones, and he didn’t think he had any anymore. They seem to have melted in that orgasm.

He managed to at least sit up, and Shou – who had somehow gotten all the way to his feet – reached out his hands, grabbed Kai and hauled him to his feet.

“Oh, looks like I made a mark there,” Shou said, lightly touching Kai’s neck. “They’ll see that tomorrow.”

“I’ll just wear a scarf,” Kai said. Like it would be the first time he’d covered up evidence of their loveplay. “Besides, I kind of want Aoi to see it.” He wrapped an arm around Shou and kissed him. “He’s the one responsible for it.”

They both laughed, and headed for the bedroom for Round Two, ignoring the still-pinging phone.

* * *

Kai walked into the meeting the next day, ready to discuss the international dates. Reita was already there, and Ruki arrived shortly afterward . . .

No Aoi. Not even a message from him.

“Well, this is a first,” Reita said. “When was the last time Uruha was here before Aoi?”

“I’ve been on time,” Uruha said.

“Sure, for you, half an hour late IS on time,” Reita said – which earned him a whack from his best friend.

“Maybe I should call him?” Kai said, pulling out his phone – just as Aoi stumbled into the room, slowly, dark glasses over his eyes, moving like every step brought him pain.

“Morning,” he mumbled, and collapsed into a chair like a brick wall falling.

“What the hell happened to you?” Reita said.

“We were bored last night,” Aoi said. “Me and Kazuki. So we got a bottle of whiskey, and looked up stupid shit on the Internet . . .”

“I know,” Kai said, dryly.

“And then sent a bunch of messages to people,” Aoi said. “Anyone we knew.”

“So that’s why my phone was cluttered with bullshit last night?” Ruki said. “Jesus, between that and Shou’s . . .”

Kai quickly cut him off. “Are you okay to have the meeting, Aoi?”

“Sure, sure. Just a little hung over. Well, a lot hung over. But I’ll survive. Barely.” He gave them a wan smile. “I’m never getting bored again, though.”

“You sure as fuck aren’t,” Ruki said. “I’m watching you like a hawk in Mexico. You’re not getting anywhere near any tequila.”

“What fun is that?” Aoi mumbled. “Can we start the meeting now?”

“Well, sure,” Kai said, pulling out his iPad and going to his notes – until Aoi interrupted him again.

“Just one thing. Did I miss anything on Twitter last night?”

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
mikkithegazette
Mar. 30th, 2013 03:36 am (UTC)
Aoi, you bitch xD
puss_nd_boots
Apr. 9th, 2013 11:18 am (UTC)
When I was trying to figure out who would be the real culprit behind Shou's little embarassment in this ficverse, Aoi was the obvious choice. XD A drunken Aoi trying to relieve boredom? Oh, yes, anything could happen. XD Thanks for reading!
alizamarie_chan
Mar. 30th, 2013 08:42 am (UTC)
WOW I M P R E S S I V E!!! I`m in love!!! (p.s. as always ^_~)
puss_nd_boots
Apr. 9th, 2013 11:19 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for always reading my fics!
alizamarie_chan
Apr. 9th, 2013 05:54 pm (UTC)
Waw I read with great pleasure ^O^v
venomousliberty
Mar. 30th, 2013 10:30 am (UTC)
Ahahahahaha! This was pretty golden~ I saw that certain picture and tweet the other day without the translations and was like, 'WTF... did Shou discover Drary? LOL.'

This was a fun read. I am so glad to see you writing like a beast these days. Thank you for making this long weekend awesome~ *bows*
puss_nd_boots
Apr. 9th, 2013 11:23 am (UTC)
I couldn't help writing this particular one. Shou just handed the idea to me on a silver platter - no, a platinum platter with extra shiny bling. Of course, it's entirely possible he was trolling everyone (as some fans have suggested), but I'd rather think of it being a hilarious "oops" like this. XD

Thanks for reading (and sorry for the late reply!)
lunapastilha
Mar. 31st, 2013 02:26 am (UTC)
and another to your file!! i was realy expecting a story from you about this..lol
puss_nd_boots
Apr. 9th, 2013 11:26 am (UTC)
There was no way I couldn't do a story. The whole incident was just so very ficworthy! (God, what did J-rock fanficcers do for inspiration before Twitter? XD) Thank you so much for reading!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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